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Rucka Rucka Ali

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    The Hypocrisy of Hurricanes (and it’s Racist)

    Seven years ago, America was hit by a real bitch of a hurricane named Katrina. She drenched New Orleans and flooded the homes of many folks. You might be thinking, “Great! They can spend the next seven years making insurance claims.” But here’s the catch: They were BLACK.

    Lives were torn by this tragic weather. People were drowning in the streets where they had previously only gotten shot. FEMA, a government flood-relief program, rushed to the scene with hopes of helping, only to find that the people floating in the giant puddles were not White. “This is a catastrophe,” a statement issued by FEMA read, “and we wish that we could do something to help the situation. Unfortunately, the people in the water are African-American, and fetching them out might imply that they cannot swim. Our hands are tied.”

    A handful of celebrities with projects to promote began raising awareness of the travesty in New Orleans. Mike Myers, star of Austin Powers 3: Out of Ideas, appeared on TV alongside young Christian rapper Kanye West to beg ordinary middle-to-lower-class people for monetary donations. Kanye West, previously a staunch Bush supporter, shocked the world with his “George Bush hates niggas” comment. Mike Myers, shocked to hear a Black guy blame anyone White for anything, was speechless. Chris Tucker then chimed in, “I have no movies to promote right now, so we’ll be back after these messages,” before the TV program cut to a commercial for flood insurance.

    Flash-forward to today. The Katrina victims are all safe and dry in their government trailers, Kanye is now Muslim, and droves of White people over the age of 50 are in Florida for the Republican National Convention. It’s a wonderful place and time for some decent, well-dressed rich guys to congregate, drink some ginger ale, and nod at one another in mutual “We’re White” comradery. And then, like a van full of chess club dorks, Hurricane Isaac shows up to piss on the Party.

    Well-prepared and attentive to weather forecasts, the GOP canceled the first day of their Convention. This means that the long-awaited first day of convening was postponed from Monday, the 27th, to Tuesday, the 28th. As if they haven’t suffered enough, the hurricane now forces the Repubs to spend the next 24 hours locked in their Five Star hotels, sipping coffee and paying attention to the ever-low stock market, instead of enjoying the Florida sun and nude beaches.

    Where’s the outcry? Does the world not feel the pain of these hurricane victims as they had so mercifully rushed to take pity on the displaced Katrina-hit residents? Why hasn’t Hollywood held a marathon to help these folks? Where’s Kanye West with a powerful “Barack Obama doesn’t care about crackers” remark? Has this country lost the compassion that it seemed to have just seven short years ago?

    Please pray for Florida. Pray and reflect on the hypocrisy of the public’s selective activism when it comes to hurricane relief. I, for one, will be relieved to learn Hurricane Isaac has moved on to a poorer, less significant area of the country, leaving Florida to baste in the influx of White Republican men and their trophy wives. May Tuesday bring better weather for the victims of Isaac. Amen.


    — 2 years ago with 3 notes
    #ruckas  #nuckas  #nucka nation  #rucka ali  #florida  #rnc  #republican  #democrat  #election 2012  #romney  #obama  #funny  #parody  #spoof  #katrina  #isaac  #race  #rich  #dnc  #politics  #current events 

    The Only People Excited About “Dear White People” Are… Yeah You Guessed It… White People.


    — 2 years ago with 2 notes
    #race  #dear white people  #justin simiu  #tyler perry  #racist  #manchester  #cnn 
    RIP Rodney King. Survived LAPD Beating, but Couldn’t Swim.

    If you’re like me, you helped burn down LA and steal TVs in 1992. It was something we had to do, in the name of Civil Rights.

    At the center of the Riots was Rodney King, a man that invented “Videotaping police brutality with your iPhone and posting it online” long before the advent of the iPhone, and when “online” was a dial-up luxury of the government, military and computer nerds. Yes, kids, back then, only nerds were into computers.

    The video of Rodney getting his ass beat by the po-pos went “Viral,” which back then meant a VHS tape being dropped off at Channel 7’s office and getting aired around the country the next day.

    The cops were arrested and later found Not Guilty, on the grounds of the infamous “3 Fifths of a 2x4” Clause of California’s Constitution, which stated Negros can get hit with anything smaller than a Bus Stop. (The Clause was later removed by Governor Schwarzenegger, to win over disgruntled Gary Coleman voters).

    Like true Patriots (as in the football team, not as in decent folks willing to fight for what’s right with an ounce of integrity) the populace of LA began to burn down the city. Most people regard it as a Race Riot, although there were plenty of white guys dressed like Axl Rose schlepping stereos out of Circuit City.

    Rodney King, whose only crime was driving at 150mph while drunk on Crack and resisting arrest, uttered a question that shook up the world (and which he probably stole from Sesame Street) “Can’t We All Get Along?”

    The Riots eventually winded down, as the Rioters returned to their Fortune 500 CEO jobs, leaving the Korean store owners to wonder aloud “Why I No Get Insurance??”

    Rodney King healed and faded out of the public light. He later resurfaced for a stint on the Vh1 Hippocratic Oath-free reality series Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, along with the guy that sang “Rico Suave” and Aaron Carter. Or whoever was on that season.

    In 2012, Rodney King was given his very own CNN Special, to celebrate the 20 Year Anniversary of his beating, and to help infuriate Blacks against Trayvon killer George Zimmerman. The “Not much has changed since 1992”-themed show was hosted by some female of ambiguous race, with plenty of slow-motion footage of LA Cops snickering at the camera. Rodney King’s interview was, of course, impossible to understand for anyone 2 shades lighter than Akon, but the message was… well, I’m not sure, I speak English. Racial Experts were interviewed, of course, to confirm that America is in terrible shape. Although I was busy watching Fresh Prince reruns at the time, I assume that the Black Professor with the crazy hair was there to give his 2 cents. 

    On June 17, 2012, Rodney King was found dead at the bottom of his swimming pool, presumably drowned by the LAPD or his racist fiance. 

    Let me point out what CNN never will: The Poster Child for American Racism, the Victim of Victims, the Embodiment of Demonstration against American Evil, died in his very own swimming pool. And that, my friends, shows that America is a place where anyone can make it. Or, at least, anyone can own a swimming pool paid for with Credit Card overdraws, Crack Deals and Food Stamps.

    God Bless America.


    — 2 years ago with 2 notes
    #rodney  #king  #lapd  #riots  #1992  #race  #rucka  #ali  #nuckas  #celebrity  #rehab  #cnn  #police brutality  #rioters  #looting